see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
