Pregnant stripper...not hot.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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