I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
