Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
should my penis look like a turkey
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
