Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
