Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
