I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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