k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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