Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You left your phone here
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