so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
