omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
