He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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