he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I skipped work to stalk him.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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