Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
