Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What a dumb baby whore.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
