sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
