She is in my trunk
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
