seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
