Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
