she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
