At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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