I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
