After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
