I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
