First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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