is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
