Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
