just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
