She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
