I won't be sarcastic... just naked
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
where are my eyebrows?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
