A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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