im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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