I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
