me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
