grandma shit on top of the toilet
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I want is dick and wine.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
