Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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