So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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