First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
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