I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
