I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
