So drunk its hurt
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
