he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
