tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
even my farts smell like vagina
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
