Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
