well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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