Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
