He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
