oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
