I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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