apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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